Showing posts with label Pushing for reform in the equality between men's and women's rights. Show all posts

Friday

The trauma of waking up without my child

'If you are on your own on Christmas Day, you can't candy-coat the fact that something has gone wrong in your life'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2250696/Lowri-Turner-The-agony-waking-Christmas-Day-children.html#ixzz3tPAE8gcw
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Usually, come Christmas morning — well, 4am to be precise — I’m woken by the squealing of over-excited children and the tell-tale rip of paper. I can hear every ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ as my 12, nine and five-year-olds open the sack of presents Father Christmas has left them.

Last year, the high point was when my five-year-old daughter unwrapped her Barbie pony. It was a toy I’d also had as a child, so seeing her at the side of my bed, clutching it with eyes like saucers, was one of those moments that make all the boring bits of motherhood — the cooking, the cleaning, the battles over homework — worthwhile.

This year it will be different. There will be no happy squeals, no little feet thundering up and down the hall. No huge, messy pile of wrapping paper. Instead, there will be just me and silence. Oh, and the dog.

That’s because for the first time ever, I will be waking up on Christmas Day without my children.

The problem is that Christmas makes the difference between the real and ideal so obvious. For example, when you have children, you build up a store of Christmas family traditions, such as playing a particular board game after Christmas dinner. For us, it’s eating chocolate for breakfast in our pyjamas.

When your children are away, you lose not only them but your little rituals and therefore the whole ‘shape’ of Christmas Day. I did once go away for Christmas without the boys before my daughter was born. I was with my then husband and his family in the West Midlands.

They were very kind but having a gaggle of children there who were not my own was awful. I managed till 3pm before almost bursting into tears over a ‘family’ game of Cluedo. The lack of my own family was simply too much to bear.

The most difficult thing about being a divorced parent on Christmas Day is the emotional loss and feeling of failure. As far as I’m concerned, being childless on December 25 feels like having one of those huge comedy hands pointing at you, saying: ‘Sad divorcee.’

Every lone parent will testify that there are many occasions when you feel the fact that you are not part of a conventional couple. School plays, parents’ evenings, birthday parties, holidays — all need to be negotiated with care.

But nothing brings it home as hard as Christmas. It’s the time of year when the imperfections in adult lives are exaggerated. John Lewis might like to consider re-uniting a snowman with his ex-snowwoman and their snowchildren as a poignant Christmas campaign next year.

I know some post-split parents get over the problem by reuniting for the big day. But what do you do with all the extended families — yours, his, plus potential new partners?

If I assembled my family, both my exes’ families plus my three siblings’ partners’ families, I’d need Wembley Stadium to fit them all in. And that’s if they’d agree to be in the same place at the same time.

Of course, compared to some I’m lucky. At least I’ll be seeing my children later in the day. But even having them dropped off halfway through has its challenges. There’ll be the hasty handover on the doorstep. The children will rush in, eager to get to a fresh pile of presents, tossing byes over their shoulders as they go.

Their fathers will hover awkwardly as we say Merry Christmas.

At least once the children are home, I will value them more because I haven’t had them all day. So while their dads and stepmums may be flagging, I will be fresh and delighted to see them.

In the meantime, when I wake on Christmas morning I will try my best to enjoy the quiet — so rare as a mum-of-three. I will eat chocolate in my pyjamas on my own and have my lunch for one with the dog. It’s just a shame she hasn’t learned how to pull a cracker yet…

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Contact Denial is Child Abuse ~ Name and Shame Your Abuser

This site is for the naming and shaming of contact deniers - parents, solicitors, judges, Cafcass officers, MP’s and any other parties involved in contact denial and the forcible separation of children from their fathers.

It is clear to us that the lack of enforcement of legally binding court orders between children and their fathers is encouraging resident parents to deliberately break the law with impunity, often with the encouragement of their legal representatives. No longer. Where court orders have been breached and where contact has been denied for no good reason, the names of those concerned will be published here along with the names of anyone else involved directly or indirectly with contact denial. Contact denial is a serious human rights violation.

When naming parents, you will need to be in possession of a court order for contact which we may need you to supply. Please note, all content is moderated so there will be a delay before your content appears.

UPLOAD YOUR CONTENT TO OUR NAME AND SHAME WALL

Maine GALert: Am I the only one who sees this GAL is wrong?

Maine GALert: Am I the only one who sees this GAL is wrong?:

The stages of realizing there is a problem with the Family Court System is universal for families, relatives and friends who have experienced...

The Stages of Family Court Dysfunction (FCD) are:

1. Belief - As consumers of judicial services we enter the court system with the idea that this country has the best judicial system in the world. That the professionals who operate within this system do so with neutrality and fairness.

2. Self Doubt and Puzzlement - As the divorce/ custody process gains momentum and hints of flaws with the process start to show we think these issues are the result of things we are doing. "It must be me" that this is happening. We become puzzled by the direction of the divorce/ custody. We realize that things are not going in a direction which makes sense. There is often a flip flop of common sense and values. Black becomes White and White becomes Black.

3. Reason and Disillusionment - We begin to try reasoning with the players. The Guardian ad litem, lawyers and court. Presenting evidence and facts because if they only just read or viewed they would understand what is going on. Disillusionment creeps in when we realize that no matter how much evidence and facts presented - the system is unwilling to listen and understand what your concerns are.

4. Anger - As the reality of the situation starts to settle in we become upset that 'justice' does not exist. That those whom we have invested with our trust are untrustworthy. A system which is supposed to protect our children is more concerned with our behavior and whether or not a Guardian ad litem, Special Master or Parent Coordinator will get paid. Our anger can be aimed at anything - our ex, the children, the family pet even the court system.

5. Settlement - Sadly we may never find settlement as the process can continue far into the future. There are parents who settle and do so for far less than what they should and are grateful for what they have. Then there are others who carry on the fight long after their divorce/ custody is over to that future divorcing families will not have to go through what they have experienced.

The process one goes through is one of personal attitude change with exposure to more and more data. This data can come from many sources - from talking and sharing with others, the internet and those who have taken the issue publicly as well as personal experience. Some will try to fix this system with the hopes of repairing their own case; others do so as public spirited citizens, who hope to help others who are going through what they themselves have experienced. How one publicly markets both the human experience in need of fixing and the fixing itself is critical. It will require educating the public and politicians on what the issues are not only for your case but those of others. It took some time for you to understand that your case had problems. Imagine how others who have no experience with family court will respond? They will have a hard time understanding - some will get it. Many will not.

It is important to note that you are not alone and that others have experienced what you have gone through. There are many grassroots organizations that one can find offering support and help on a national as well as local level. It should be noted that out of 50 states there are very few instances of court officers who have been disciplined for malpractice.

If you have had issues with a court officer - Guardian ad litem, Special Master, Parental Coordinator or some other flavor of court appointed officer. We urge you to contact us at MeGALalert@gmail.com or find us on Facebook.

Supreme Court Rules Gay Marriage Legal in these United States! So...should straight men support gay marriage?

Family courts and the exploitation of the legal system,".
Posted by Family Justice & Child Protection Worldwide Reform Committee on Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The New Civil Rights Movement - Same sex marriages have the potential to challenge laws and customs surrounding marriage, divorce, child custody and domestic violence that currently discriminate against men on the basis of gender. Straight men have much to gain from these relationships, which may provide a legal foundation to challenge laws that unfairly target and punish men, and their children.

Today, the country is celebrating a huge step towards equality, as the Supreme Court rules that Gay marriage will be legal in all 50 states of the United States. Finally, #LoveWins #EqualVoice
Posted by Equal Voice for America's Families on Friday, June 26, 2015

Florida Governor Rick Scott Signs Grandparents' Rights Bill

Children's Rights: Right to see Grandchildren after parents' divorces...: Grandparents will get legal right to see grandchildren after divorce battles "For the first time, separating parents will be exp...

The bill states, "Upon the filing of a petition by a grandparent for visitation, the court shall hold a preliminary hearing ... the court may award reasonable visitation to the grandparent ... if the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that a parent is unfit or that there is significant harm to the child, that visitation is in the best interest of the minor child, and that the visitation will not materially harm the parent-child relationship."

Grandparents will get legal right to see grandchildren after divorce battles

"For the first time, separating parents will be expected to ensure grandparents continue to have a role in the lives of their children after they split up.

Bubbles of Love: Shining a Light on Parental Alienation | CullmanSense

Supporting children with 'Bubbles of Love' - ABC 33/40 - Birmingham News, Weather, Sports

Don't Let Your EX Get You Down!

Reblogged from World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.:

Don't Let Your EX Get You Down!

Wicked witch of the west photo: Wicked Witch of the West witch.gif

DO IT FOR THE KIDS!

Wizard of Oz photo: wizard of oz Wizard_of_Oz_00.jpg

BOYCOTT FAMILY COURT TODAY & IN THE FUTURE!

Fathers.com: Championship Fathering by Carey Casey "Championship Fathering" is an effort to change the culture for today's children and the children of c...

"Reckless Disregard" A True And Compelling Story About One Father's Fight - towardchange.wordpress.com

WHY IS THIS A CRITICAL ISSUE?

Be A Great DAD

The Best Interest of the Child

A child's right to have stable relationships with BOTH parents must be central to custody decisions. Children affected by divorce and/or separation fare worse, on average, on nearly every measure of health and emotional well-being including a greater risk of academic problems, alcohol and drug use, poor social skills, depression and suicide, delinquency and incarceration, and poorer physical health and early mortality. The reason for all this has much to do with the fact that one of the two most important people in a child’s life is often relegated to the role of an infrequent visitor. #StandUpForZoraya #EndParentalAlienation #ILoveAndNeedMyDaughter

The BEST Parent is BOTH Parents!

I Am The Best Interest

NewJudge.com

The Pink Slip Project

Government Invasion of Parental Rights

Family Law Reform - November 4, 2014

Guys With Kids

Equally Shared Parenting Must be LAW

The father's rights movement isn't an anti-mom or anti-woman movement; it's an anti-unfairness movement. Our aim is to champion the cause of equal parenting, family law reform and equal contact for divorced/separated parents with their children. The fathers' rights movement is a movement whose members are primarily interested in issues related to family law, including child custody and child support that affect fathers and their children. Many of its members are fathers who desire to share the parenting of their children equally with their children's mother—either after divorce or as unwed fathers, and the children of the terminated marriage.

The movement includes women as well as men, often the second wives of divorced fathers or other family members of men who have had some engagement with family law. Most of the members of the fathers' rights movement had little prior interest in the law or politics. However, as they felt that their goal of equal shared parenting was being frustrated by the family courts, many took an interest in family law, including child custody and child support. Though it has been described as a social movement, members of the movement believe their actions are better described as part of a civil rights movement. Objections to the characterizations of the movement as a social movement are related to the belief that discrimination against fathers moves beyond the social sciences and originates in government intervention into family life.

The movement has received international press coverage as a result of high profile activism of their members, has become increasingly vocal, visible and organised, and has played a powerful role in family law debates. The child is not the mere creature of the State; those who nurture him and direct his destiny have the right, coupled with the high duty, to recognize and prepare him for additional obligations." - Pierce v. Society of Sisters, 268 U.S. 510 (1925) "It is cardinal with us that the custody, care and nurture of the child reside first in the parents, whose primary function and freedom include preparation for obligations the state can neither supply nor hinder.... It is in recognition of this that these decisions have respected the private realm of family life which the state cannot enter." - Prince v. Commonwealth of Massachusetts, 321 U.S. 158 (1944) "The Due Process Clause does not permit a State to infringe on the fundamental right of parents to make childrearing decisions simply because a state judge believes a 'better' decision could be made." - Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57 (2000)

NewJudge.com

Guys With Kids

Family Law Reform NOW

World4Justice

SayNOtoPAS.com

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

A Child's Right to Dad is a Human Right. Right?

Never, Never, Never, Never Give UP!

Fathers United

A Family Court Judge's Reckless Disregard

Children's rights are the human rights of children with particular attention to the rights of special protection and care afforded to the young, including their right to association with both biological parents.

Raise your right hand and read aloud the following: DADS ~ I promise that I will not in any way put my children in the middle of any dispute I may have with their mother, and that I will put my children's best interest above everything else. I will not make disparaging comments to them about their mother, use my children as pawns or leverage, or try to turn my children against their mother, no matter how angry I may be. I will focus on enjoying and making the most out of the time I have with my children, and will encourage my children to have a good relationship with their mother. I will keep in mind that my children are innocent bystanders in this process, and it is up to both of us to protect them. I will remember that my overall goal is to raise happy, well adjusted children who have a healthy relationship with both parents. MOMS ~ I promise that I will not in any way put my children in the middle of any dispute I may have with their father, and that I will put my children's best interest above everything else. I will not make disparaging comments to them about their father, use my children as pawns or leverage, or try to turn my children against their father, no matter how angry I may be. I will focus on enjoying and making the most out of the time I have with my children, and will encourage my children to have a good relationship with their father. I will keep in mind that my children are innocent bystanders in this process, and it is up to both of us to protect them. I will remember that my overall goal is to raise happy, well adjusted children who have a healthy relationship with both parents.

TAKE THE PLEDGE!

Adopt Uniform Parenting Time Guidelines

Get the News Media Attention on Family Law Reform

World4Justice - Lobby Forum- Justice4Children

STOP ABSOLUTE DISCRETION OF FAMILY COURT JUDGES

Purple Keyboard Campaign 4 Family Justiice

Bring awareness to Parental Alienation

STOP Court's DENIAL of REASONABLE Time-sharing

Stand Up For Zoraya

28th Parental Rights Amendment to US Constitution

Children's Rights Facebook Group

If you missed the Divorce Corp Family Law Reform Conference last November or if you want a refresher, you can now watch...
Posted by Parental Alienation & other Child abuse awareness/prevention on Friday, August 14, 2015

Bill Richards‎American Fathers Liberation Army

If you want your son to be a great man when he gets older... then be a great DAD to him NOW! — with DeAngelo Dawn, Robert Katchko and Matt Doyle at Stop Abusive and Violent Environments S.A.V.E.

From:Photos from Bill Richards's post in American Fathers Liberation Army

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Posted by American Fathers Liberation Army on Friday, August 14, 2015

“We stand for the human rights of mothers, fathers and children.” ~ Our aim is to champion the cause of equal parenting, family law reform and equal contact for divorced parents with children. This is a movement whose members are primarily interested in issues related to family law, including child custody and child support that affect fathers and their children. Members are mostly fathers who desire to share the parenting of their children equally with their children's mother—either after divorce or as unwed fathers, and the children of the terminated marriage. This movement includes women as well as men, often the second wives of divorced fathers or other family members of men who have had some engagement with family law. What is your stance on equal constitutional parental rights for all parents and any needed reforms to the family law system to ensure them? Do you support constitutional parental rights for all? This issue is literally destroying society from within by destroying the family bonds & structure that a civilized nation needs to be strong and survive.

No topic could more more important to this country as it effects all Men, women, and children. Fatherlessness is associated with almost every societal ill facing our country’s children. An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father. We asked Democratic and Republican Primary Candidates ~ How can you address the fatherlessness epidemic? ~ Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers. ~ 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers. ~ According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America. ~ Among children who were part of the “post-war generation,” 87.7% grew up with two biological parents who were married to each other. ~ Today only 68.1% will spend their entire childhood in an intact family. With the increasing number of premarital births and a continuing high divorce rate, the proportion of children living with just one parent rose from 9.1% in 1960 to 20.7% in 2012. Currently, 55.1% of all black children, 31.1% of all Hispanic children, and 20.7% of all white children are living in single-parent homes.

White children born in the 1950-1954 period spent only 8% of their childhood with just one parent; black children spent 22%. Of those born in 1980, by one estimate, white children can be expected to spend 31% of their childhood years with one parent, and black children 59%. You’ve heard about the crisis of fatherlessness and the negative consequences for children and for our society. Even if you are an involved dad, until we are successful, your children and grandchildren will be growing up in a culture of absent fathers and unfathered children. They will be affected! You can be a part of the solution!

Causes.com/causes/804504-American-Fathers-4Change

"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." (Tecumseh).

American Fathers Liberation: ALL Men’s Rights are Human Rights. ’nuff said http://bit.ly/1JgMgEm
Posted by American Fathers Liberation Army on Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Tell Your Story

We always encourage all parents and extended family to share information about Family Court horrors, or Parental Alienation and its impact on you, your children and family, so that the ripple effect of sharing information and experiences create positive change for other people who are affected or who may be affected in the future.

This blog was viewed over 100,000 times. Comments by visitors, in contrast, were fewer than 600. For the public to be aware of procedural abuses, it has to hear about them. (The blog author’s own story is here.)

Call yourself whatever you want (or nothing at all). Email addresses are strictly confidential, and providing one is optional (but will allow you to be notified of others’ responses and to dialogue immediately if you wish).

The Communications Decency Act exempts this blog’s author from any liability for what you say. Civility is the only constraint upon your speech.

AFLA

Fathers have become undervalued, family structure has become disposable, children suffer without both parents but so often father is left out, seen as nonessential. Let's correct this by bringing attention to it! We're happy to populate the Internet with information that is helpful, supportive, and conducive to fostering father-child relationships, reducing or eliminating Parental Alienation, for the betterment of our children's psychological and emotional health, and for the future health of our families and societies.