American Fathers Liberation: Visitation Disputes

Showing posts with label Visitation Disputes. Show all posts

Friday

The trauma of waking up without my child

'If you are on your own on Christmas Day, you can't candy-coat the fact that something has gone wrong in your life'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2250696/Lowri-Turner-The-agony-waking-Christmas-Day-children.html#ixzz3tPAE8gcw
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Usually, come Christmas morning — well, 4am to be precise — I’m woken by the squealing of over-excited children and the tell-tale rip of paper. I can hear every ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ as my 12, nine and five-year-olds open the sack of presents Father Christmas has left them.

Last year, the high point was when my five-year-old daughter unwrapped her Barbie pony. It was a toy I’d also had as a child, so seeing her at the side of my bed, clutching it with eyes like saucers, was one of those moments that make all the boring bits of motherhood — the cooking, the cleaning, the battles over homework — worthwhile.

This year it will be different. There will be no happy squeals, no little feet thundering up and down the hall. No huge, messy pile of wrapping paper. Instead, there will be just me and silence. Oh, and the dog.

That’s because for the first time ever, I will be waking up on Christmas Day without my children.

The problem is that Christmas makes the difference between the real and ideal so obvious. For example, when you have children, you build up a store of Christmas family traditions, such as playing a particular board game after Christmas dinner. For us, it’s eating chocolate for breakfast in our pyjamas.

When your children are away, you lose not only them but your little rituals and therefore the whole ‘shape’ of Christmas Day. I did once go away for Christmas without the boys before my daughter was born. I was with my then husband and his family in the West Midlands.

They were very kind but having a gaggle of children there who were not my own was awful. I managed till 3pm before almost bursting into tears over a ‘family’ game of Cluedo. The lack of my own family was simply too much to bear.

The most difficult thing about being a divorced parent on Christmas Day is the emotional loss and feeling of failure. As far as I’m concerned, being childless on December 25 feels like having one of those huge comedy hands pointing at you, saying: ‘Sad divorcee.’

Every lone parent will testify that there are many occasions when you feel the fact that you are not part of a conventional couple. School plays, parents’ evenings, birthday parties, holidays — all need to be negotiated with care.

But nothing brings it home as hard as Christmas. It’s the time of year when the imperfections in adult lives are exaggerated. John Lewis might like to consider re-uniting a snowman with his ex-snowwoman and their snowchildren as a poignant Christmas campaign next year.

I know some post-split parents get over the problem by reuniting for the big day. But what do you do with all the extended families — yours, his, plus potential new partners?

If I assembled my family, both my exes’ families plus my three siblings’ partners’ families, I’d need Wembley Stadium to fit them all in. And that’s if they’d agree to be in the same place at the same time.

Of course, compared to some I’m lucky. At least I’ll be seeing my children later in the day. But even having them dropped off halfway through has its challenges. There’ll be the hasty handover on the doorstep. The children will rush in, eager to get to a fresh pile of presents, tossing byes over their shoulders as they go.

Their fathers will hover awkwardly as we say Merry Christmas.

At least once the children are home, I will value them more because I haven’t had them all day. So while their dads and stepmums may be flagging, I will be fresh and delighted to see them.

In the meantime, when I wake on Christmas morning I will try my best to enjoy the quiet — so rare as a mum-of-three. I will eat chocolate in my pyjamas on my own and have my lunch for one with the dog. It’s just a shame she hasn’t learned how to pull a cracker yet…

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My children are a gift

Stand Up For Zoraya

“Changing a child last name (away from the father’s) is an act of venom”

“Changing a child's last name (away from the father’s) is an act of venom”

No Contact for Daughter and Father

No Reason Needed

Demand Family Court Judge Manno-Schurr's Immediate Recusal

January 24th, 2015 - I expressed my concerns for Zoraya's behavior to three Supervised Visitation Monitor/Reporter after visit with daughter. For Zoraya's safety and well-being!!
more sign petition

OUR LEGISLATORS CAN PROTECT US FROM THE HORRORS OF FAMILY COURTS TO IMPOSE EQUALITY STANDARDS

"My children are a gift that God gave me. The state did not receive those children from God and then forward them on to me with conditions. God gave those children to me. I will stand before Him to be judged on how I raise my children, and I don't believe it's appropriate for the state to step in and either play God-- or play parent." - Utah Senator Mark Madsen, during floor debate on Utah's HB13.

Larry Kotlikoff explains how divorce laws differ state by state and argues for a national divorce law. Photo by Getty Images

Is it time for a national divorce law too?

Thursday

EQUAL PARENTAL RIGHTS FOR FATHERS #StandupforZoraya

Denial of reasonable access to your own kids is child abuse

No Contact for Daughter and Father. No Reason Needed - Judge Manno-Schurr.

#StandupforZoraya

January 24th, 2015 - I expressed my concerns for Zoraya's behavior to three Supervised Visitation Monitor/Reporter after visit with daughter. For Zoraya's safety and well-being!! The Supervised Visitation Supervisor Linda Fieldstone referred me back to Judge Manno-Schurr and she unjustly suspended my visits and contact with Zoraya..It's okay to be with one of my children but not the other???

Judge Valerie Manno-Schurr said to me on February 3rd, 2015 to "find a 'qualified' monitor for supervised visitation and you can see your daughter again" ~ Last contact January 24th, 2015. See February 23rd Video testimony...

See More Case 08-29595 - Details

There are many parents out there who for no other reason than a relationship has failed are being denied access to their own children. Our own children are being abused, used as weapons by a disgruntled ex-spouse. Here's your chance to say "No"

EQUAL PARENTAL RIGHTS FOR FATHERS

Friday

Blogging Helps The Healing Process

Blogging Helps The Healing Process: Writing your Blog help work through the anger and confusion that inevitably comes up when a parent alienates a child from the other parent.

In the grand tradition of all kinds of media at year-end, here's a very short list of most read posts of 2014.

Thursday

Stop Emotional Child Abuse

Notes

Read More

"Statesmen, my dear Sir, may plan and speculate for liberty, but it is religion and morality alone, which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People in a greater Measure than they have it now, they may change their rulers and the forms of government, but they will not obtain a lasting liberty." -- John Adams (1735-1826) Founding Father, 2nd US President June 21, 1776 Source: letter to Zabdiel Adams, 21 June 1776, (Reference: Our Sacred Honor, Bennett (371)) htt... more »

Cop Arrests Dad For Trying to Pick Kids Up From School

“You don’t need a reason as a parent to go get your children, they are our children”

A father was arrested for attempting to pick his kids up from school in a startling new example of how the state is increasingly treating children as its own property.

It’s a sad fact that in the US, we have a broken family court system. It fails the children of divorced parents by essentially alienating them from one of their parents through unfair child custody arrangements. The good news is that there are several national organizations gaining serious traction in trying to change this.

One of these organizations is Leading Woman for Shared Parenting (LW4SP). Founded on Father’s Day in 2013, LW4SP is an ‘international child advocacy organization’ which supports ‘the implementation of a presumption of shared parenting as a standard in child custody determinations’. Boasting influential women from a range of disciplines, political parties and all walks of life (including the recently deceased Karen DeCrow, president of the National Organization for Women (NOW) in the 1970s, and the conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly), LW4SP raises eyebrows because fighting for ‘shared parenting’ has, until now, mainly been a ‘father’s rights’ issue.

The essence of shared parenting can be gleaned fairly easily from its name: divorced parents should be able to ‘share’ the parenting of their children, specifically in the sense that they should have shared physical custody of the child as much as possible. The US arrangement of ‘joint custody’ is not good enough, since in this arrangement the child is assigned to live with one parent, while the other parent is consigned to a much lesser share of access to the child.

Source: The Conservative Woman | Post by Holly Hamilton-Bleakley Posted 10th August 2014

Fatherlessness is destroying our families and the social fabric of our nation.

New Study Says Divorce Can Seriously Impact Men's Health

A nonprofit support and self-help group for non-custodial parents and their families.

FACE

Another child saved from one-parent custody

Score card changes to 64 children saved.

To protect the parties' privacy we can't give a lot of details now. Dad joined FACE six months before he filed for divorce and was counseled by FACE throughout the entire process. He says its the best decision he ever made. Mom, with the help of women's shelter and her free lawyer, tried all the tricks -- False domestic violence allegations ... Dad beat the final restraining order. False child sexual abuse allegations ... Dad uncovered it early and stopped the unneeded therapy. Fabricated DYFS charges ... All unfounded. Dad was represented by a lawyer, but he stayed in control of negotiations instead of just letting the lawyer decide what to do. The parties agreed to a 50/50 custody arrangement very early in the case. The divorce was final today. Both parents share joint legal custody and shared physical custody of the child with neither parent designated the Parent of Primary Residence. We will provide more details when we can. Meanwhile, Dad is now another experienced FACE member, ready to help others.

Fathers' and Children's Equality, Inc. (FACE) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, all volunteer, educational organization and support and self-help group for noncustodial parents and their families. We are not lawyers. We educate the public regarding our areas of interest pertaining to families. We educate our members as to their rights and responsibilities as parents, help them effectively represent themselves in court, and show them how to manage their own cases, regardless of whether or not they choose to use a lawyer.

Parent HELP 1-877-4DAD 411

Tell Your Story

We always encourage all parents and extended family to share informationabout Family Court horrors, or Parental Alienation and its impact on you, your children and family, so that the ripple effect of sharing information and experiences create positivechange for other people who are affected or who may be affected in the future..This blog was viewed over 100,000 times. Comments by visitors, in contrast, were fewer than 600. For the public to be aware of procedural abuses, it has to hear about them. (The blog author’s own story is he re.)

Call yourself whatever you want (or nothing at all). Email addresses are strictly confidential, and providing one is optional (but will allow you to be notified of others’ responses and to dialogue immediately if you wish).

American Fathers Liberation Army plus.google.com

Causes.com/causes/804504-American-Fathers-4Change

"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." (Tecumseh).

American Fathers Liberation: ALL Men’s Rights are Human Rights. ’nuff said http://bit.ly/1JgMgEm
Posted by American Fathers Liberation Army on Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Tell Your Story

We always encourage all parents and extended family to share information about Family Court horrors, or Parental Alienation and its impact on you, your children and family, so that the ripple effect of sharing information and experiences create positive change for other people who are affected or who may be affected in the future.

This blog was viewed over 100,000 times. Comments by visitors, in contrast, were fewer than 600. For the public to be aware of procedural abuses, it has to hear about them. (The blog author’s own story is here.)

The Communications Decency Act exempts this blog’s author from any liability for what you say. Civility is the only constraint upon your speech.

AFLA

Fathers have become undervalued, family structure has become disposable, children suffer without both parents but so often father is left out, seen as nonessential. Let's correct this by bringing attention to it! We're happy to populate the Internet with information that is helpful, supportive, and conducive to fostering father-child relationships, reducing or eliminating Parental Alienation, for the betterment of our children's psychological and emotional health, and for the future health of our families and societies.