American Fathers Liberation: Fathers and Their Families

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Fathers and Their Families

Divorced Fathers and Their Families presents a needed corrective to a long-neglected topic without trivializing the problems and needs of divorced mothers and children or downplaying the realities of divorce. In much of the book, divorced men's narratives reveal their roles in their children's lives, the emotional turmoil when those roles are disrupted, and their frustrations when the legal system assumes the worst about them. Other chapters provide systemic and personality perspectives on divorce and custody issues, a guide to emerging trends in divorce services, and strategies for making divorce less toxic for all; the evolution of divorce and custody decisions over the last century; representative case stories from divorced fathers, in their own words; overview of current divorce services and professionals: child advocates, mediators and family evaluators, and more; "What-if" scenarios suggesting how the case examples might have turned out with alternate interventions; real-world advice for humanizing the divorce process--even years after the fact; and useful appendices, including a divorced fathers questionnaire, a model of stages in the divorce process, and guidelines for a divorce ceremony. At a time when over half of all marriages are breaking up. Divorced Fathers and Their Families offers psychologists, psychiatrists, family therapists, custody evaluators, lawyers, mediators and judges fresh insight into these relationships revealing client dynamics that may have been missed or misjudged. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2013 APA, all rights reserved).

1 comment:

End Parental Alienation08:11
HOW DID CHILDREN OF DIVORCE GET STUCK WITH THE VISITATION PLAN THAT AFFORDS THEM ACCESS TO THEIR NON-RESIDENTIAL PARENT ONLY ONE NIGHT DURING THE WEEK AND EVERY OTHER WEEK-END?

What is the research that supports such a schedule? Where is the data that confirms that such a plan is in the best interest of the child?

Well, reader, you can spend your time from now until eternity researching the literature, and YOU WILL NOT DISCOVER ANY SUPPORTING DATA for the typical visitation arrangement with the non-residential parent! The reality is that this arrangement is based solely on custom. And just like the short story, "The Lottery," in which the prizewinner is stoned to death, the message is that deeds and judgments are frequently arrived at based on nothing more than habit, fantasy, prejudice, and yes, on "junk science."

This family therapist upholds the importance of both parents playing an active and substantial role in their children's lives----especially in situations when the parents are apart. In order to support the goal for each parent to provide a meaningfully and considerable involvement in the lives of their children, I affirm that the resolution to custody requires an arrangement for joint legal custody and physical custody that maximizes the time with the non-residential----with the optimal arrangement being 50-50, whenever practical. It is my professional opinion that the customary visitation arrangement for non-residential parents to visit every other weekend and one night during the week is not sufficient to maintain a consequential relationship with their children. Although I have heard matrimonial attorneys, children's attorneys, and judges assert that the child needs the consistency of the same residence, I deem this assumption to be nonsense. I cannot be convinced that the consistency with one's bed trumps consistency with a parent!

Should the reader question how such an arrangement can be judiciously implemented which maximizes the child's time---even in a 50-50 arrangement----with the non-residential parent, I direct the reader to the book, Mom's House, Dads House, by the Isolina Ricci, PhD.

Indeed, the research that we do have supports the serious consequences to children when the father, who is generally the non-residential parent, does not play a meaningful role in lives of his children. The book, Fatherneed, (2000) by Dr. Kyle Pruitt, summarizes the research at Yale University about the importance of fathers to their children. And another post on this page summarizes an extensive list of other research.

Children of divorce or separation of their parents previously had each parent 100% of the time and obviously cannot have the same arrangement subsequent to their parents' separation. But it makes no sense to this family therapist that the result of parental separation is that the child is accorded only 20% time with one parent and 80% with the other. What rational person could possibly justify this?
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"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." (Tecumseh).

American Fathers Liberation: ALL Men’s Rights are Human Rights. ’nuff said http://bit.ly/1JgMgEm
Posted by American Fathers Liberation Army on Tuesday, August 18, 2015