"The man as he converses is the lover; silent, he is the husband." ~ Honore de Balzac

Tuesday

Science of Dads.




For decades, psychologists and other researchers assumed that the mother-child bond was the most important one in a kid's life. They focused on studying those relationships, and however a child turned out, mom often got the credit — or blame.
Within the last several decades, though, scientists are increasingly realizing just how much dads matter. Just like women, fathers' bodies respond to parenthood, and their parenting style affects their kids just as much, and sometimes more, than mom's.
"We're now finding that not only are fathers influential, sometimes they have more influence on kids' development than moms," said Ronald Rohner, the director of the Center for the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut.
Feeling dad's love
Rohner and his colleagues recently reviewed decades of studies on parental acceptance and rejection across the globe. Unsurprisingly, parents have a major effect on their kids. When kids feel rejected or unloved by mom and dad, they're more likely to become hostile, aggressive and emotionally unstable. Parental rejection also can lead to low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy and negative worldviews.
This is true for both parents, Rohner told LiveScience. But in some cases, dad is a more important factor than mom. [History's 12 Most Doting Dads]
Behavior problems, delinquency, depression, substance abuse and overall psychological adjustment are all more closely linked to dad's rejection than mom's, Rohner said.
By the same token, dad's love is sometimes a stronger influence for children than mom's, the researchers found.
"Knowing that kids feel loved by their father is a better predictor of young adults' sense of well-being, of happiness, of life satisfaction than knowing about the extent to which they feel loved by their mothers," Rohner said. He and his colleagues detailed their findings in May in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review.
Influence and persistence
The research looked only at male father figures, so while the dad in question doesn't have to be biological, the results don't apply to absentee fathers. Rohner and his colleagues aren't certain why fathers sometimes outshine moms in their kids' development. In every family, Rohner said, there is a member with more influence and prestige — the person who might set the weekend plans, for example. In families where dad is that person, his actions might make the greatest impression on the children.
In those cases, "kids tend to pay more attention to what dad does and dad says than mom, and he's going to have more influence," Rohner said.
Dads may also be responsible for endowing their kids with "stick-with-it-ness" that serves them well in life. In a study of two-parent families published Friday (June 15) in the Journal of Early Adolescence, Brigham Young University researchers found that dad's parenting style is more closely linked to whether teens will exhibit persistence than mom's parenting. A persistent personality, in turn, was related to less delinquency and more engagement in school over time.
The magic fathering style that was linked to such persistence in kids is called authoritative parenting, a style characterized by warmth and love, accountability to the rules (but explanations of why those rules exist), and age-appropriate autonomy for kids, the researchers found.  
"Our study suggests fathers who are most effective are those who listen to their children, have a close relationship, set appropriate rules, but also grant appropriate freedoms," study researcher Laura Padilla-Walker told LiveScience.
It's not clear why dads might be more important than moms in teaching perseverance, but it's possible that fathers simply focus on this trait more, while moms teach traits like gratitude and kindness, Padilla-Walker said. [5 Ways to Foster Self-Compassion in Your Child]
Being a good dad
Fortunately for dads, biology is there to back up good parenting. Hormonal studies have revealed that dads show increased levels of oxytocin during the first weeks of their babies' lives. This hormone, sometimes called the "love hormone," increases feelings of bonding among groups. Dads get oxytocin boosts by playing with their babies, according to a 2010 study published in the journal Biological Psychiatry.
Fatherhood also leads to declines in testosterone, the "macho" hormone associated with aggressive behavior, according to research published last year in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. This change is stronger the more involved a dad is with his baby's care, suggesting that it may reduce a man's risk-taking drive and encourage nurturing and domesticity. 
What's most important, Padilla-Walker said, is that fathers realize they matter. Quality time is important, she said.
"That doesn't mean going on fancy vacations, it can be playing ball in the backyard or watching a movie with your kids," she said. "Whatever it is, just make yourself available and when you're with your children, be with them."
Follow Stephanie Pappas on Twitter @sipappas or LiveScience @livescience. We're also on Facebook Google+.

Friday

Be A Great DAD

The Best Interest of the Child

A child's right to have stable relationships with BOTH parents must be central to custody decisions. Children affected by divorce and/or separation fare worse, on average, on nearly every measure of health and emotional well-being including a greater risk of academic problems, alcohol and drug use, poor social skills, depression and suicide, delinquency and incarceration, and poorer physical health and early mortality. The reason for all this has much to do with the fact that one of the two most important people in a child’s life is often relegated to the role of an infrequent visitor. #StandUpForZoraya #EndParentalAlienation #ILoveAndNeedMyDaughter

The father's rights movement isn't an anti-mom or anti-woman movement; it's an anti-unfairness movement. Our aim is to champion the cause of equal parenting, family law reform and equal contact for divorced/separated parents with their children. The fathers' rights movement is a movement whose members are primarily interested in issues related to family law, including child custody and child support that affect fathers and their children. Many of its members are fathers who desire to share the parenting of their children equally with their children's mother—either after divorce or as unwed fathers, and the children of the terminated marriage.
The movement includes women as well as men, often the second wives of divorced fathers or other family members of men who have had some engagement with family law. Most of the members of the fathers' rights movement had little prior interest in the law or politics. However, as they felt that their goal of equal shared parenting was being frustrated by the family courts, many took an interest in family law, including child custody and child support. Though it has been described as a social movement, members of the movement believe their actions are better described as part of a civil rights movement. Objections to the characterizations of the movement as a social movement are related to the belief that discrimination against fathers moves beyond the social sciences and originates in government intervention into family life.
The movement has received international press coverage as a result of high profile activism of their members, has become increasingly vocal, visible and organised, and has played a powerful role in family law debates. The child is not the mere creature of the State; those who nurture him and direct his destiny have the right, coupled with the high duty, to recognize and prepare him for additional obligations." - Pierce v. Society of Sisters, 268 U.S. 510 (1925) "It is cardinal with us that the custody, care and nurture of the child reside first in the parents, whose primary function and freedom include preparation for obligations the state can neither supply nor hinder.... It is in recognition of this that these decisions have respected the private realm of family life which the state cannot enter." - Prince v. Commonwealth of Massachusetts, 321 U.S. 158 (1944) "The Due Process Clause does not permit a State to infringe on the fundamental right of parents to make childrearing decisions simply because a state judge believes a 'better' decision could be made." - Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57 (2000)

Children's rights are the human rights of children with particular attention to the rights of special protection and care afforded to the young, including their right to association with both biological parents.
Raise your right hand and read aloud the following: DADS ~ I promise that I will not in any way put my children in the middle of any dispute I may have with their mother, and that I will put my children's best interest above everything else. I will not make disparaging comments to them about their mother, use my children as pawns or leverage, or try to turn my children against their mother, no matter how angry I may be. I will focus on enjoying and making the most out of the time I have with my children, and will encourage my children to have a good relationship with their mother. I will keep in mind that my children are innocent bystanders in this process, and it is up to both of us to protect them. I will remember that my overall goal is to raise happy, well adjusted children who have a healthy relationship with both parents. MOMS ~ I promise that I will not in any way put my children in the middle of any dispute I may have with their father, and that I will put my children's best interest above everything else. I will not make disparaging comments to them about their father, use my children as pawns or leverage, or try to turn my children against their father, no matter how angry I may be. I will focus on enjoying and making the most out of the time I have with my children, and will encourage my children to have a good relationship with their father. I will keep in mind that my children are innocent bystanders in this process, and it is up to both of us to protect them. I will remember that my overall goal is to raise happy, well adjusted children who have a healthy relationship with both parents.

TAKE THE PLEDGE!

If you missed the Divorce Corp Family Law Reform Conference last November or if you want a refresher, you can now watch...
Posted by Parental Alienation & other Child abuse awareness/prevention on Friday, August 14, 2015
Bill RichardsAmerican Fathers Liberation Army

If you want your son to be a great man when he gets older... then be a great DAD to him NOW!
 — with DeAngelo DawnRobert Katchko and Matt Doyle at Stop Abusive and Violent Environments S.A.V.E.


  • You and 8 others like this.
  • Bill Richards My son turns 6 years old this year, and I am still fighting for him..
  • Rk Hendrick Bill, I took care of the spammer and edited this thread. ~ RK
  • Bill Richards Thank you very much
  • Rk Hendrick Spanking the spammers is something I enjoy!


“We stand for the human rights of mothers, fathers and children.” ~ Our aim is to champion the cause of equal parenting, family law reform and equal contact for divorced parents with children. This is a movement whose members are primarily interested in issues related to family law, including child custody and child support that affect fathers and their children. Members are mostly fathers who desire to share the parenting of their children equally with their children's mother—either after divorce or as unwed fathers, and the children of the terminated marriage. This movement includes women as well as men, often the second wives of divorced fathers or other family members of men who have had some engagement with family law. What is your stance on equal constitutional parental rights for all parents and any needed reforms to the family law system to ensure them? Do you support constitutional parental rights for all? This issue is literally destroying society from within by destroying the family bonds & structure that a civilized nation needs to be strong and survive.
No topic could more more important to this country as it effects all Men, women, and children. Fatherlessness is associated with almost every societal ill facing our country’s children. An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father. We asked Democratic and Republican Primary Candidates ~ How can you address the fatherlessness epidemic? ~ Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers. ~ 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers. ~ According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America. ~ Among children who were part of the “post-war generation,” 87.7% grew up with two biological parents who were married to each other. ~ Today only 68.1% will spend their entire childhood in an intact family. With the increasing number of premarital births and a continuing high divorce rate, the proportion of children living with just one parent rose from 9.1% in 1960 to 20.7% in 2012. Currently, 55.1% of all black children, 31.1% of all Hispanic children, and 20.7% of all white children are living in single-parent homes.
White children born in the 1950-1954 period spent only 8% of their childhood with just one parent; black children spent 22%. Of those born in 1980, by one estimate, white children can be expected to spend 31% of their childhood years with one parent, and black children 59%. You’ve heard about the crisis of fatherlessness and the negative consequences for children and for our society. Even if you are an involved dad, until we are successful, your children and grandchildren will be growing up in a culture of absent fathers and unfathered children. They will be affected! You can be a part of the solution!

Why say NO to attorneys in the Legislature?

Why say NO to attorneys in the Legislature?
THE LARGEST CLASS ACTION IN HISTORY

Check it out!

Facebook.com/AmericanFathers

Causes.com/causes/804504-American-Fathers-4Change

"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." (Tecumseh).

American Fathers Liberation: ALL Men’s Rights are Human Rights. ’nuff said http://bit.ly/1JgMgEm

Posted by American Fathers Liberation Army on Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.

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