"The man as he converses is the lover; silent, he is the husband." ~ Honore de Balzac

Saturday

America leads the industrialized world in fatherlessness. ~ Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem

Violence and Crime linked to fatherlessness - 2015

America leads the industrialized world in fatherlessness.

Right now, around 41 percent of children are born to single mothers.

For women under 30, who bear two-thirds of all children, that rate is 53 percent.

Many unmarried women are cohabiting with partners at the outset of their children’s births, but those couplings disintegrate at twice the rate of marriages. 

In total, about one-third of all children are raised in father-absent homes. By some estimates, this means more kids are growing up with televisions in their bedroom than with both of their biological parents. Boys are especially affected by this trend. Without positive and consistent male role models, society misses out on much of their constructive potential. It’s no coincidence 70 percent of male inmates did not grow up with both parents, for example.

Even for those with fathers, the average school-age boy spends just half an hour per week in one-on-one conversation with his father, according to David Walsh, founder of Mind Positive Parenting.

“That compares with 44 hours a week in front of a television, video game screen, [and] Internet screen,” he says. “I think that we are neglecting our boys tremendously. The result of that is our boys aren’t spending time with mentors, with elders, who can really show them the path, show them the way of how it is that we’re supposed to behave as healthy men.”

Across the board, children with intact families have more advantages than their fatherless peers. A report published by The Center for Disease Control and Prevention says children of married biological parents or adoptive parents are healthier, have fewer definite or severe emotional or behavioral difficulties and are less likely to grow up in poverty. They also have more friends. When Gen-Y children were surveyed in elementary school, those who were living with their fathers scored better on 21 of 27 social competence measures.

They were also more likely to excel and go further in school, performing better on eight out of nine academic measures. The gap between rich and poor will keep getting worse as fatherlessness rises among those of lower socioeconomic status. Children who grow up without fathers are more likely to become single mothers or absent dads, use drugs, have low academic achievement and are less likely to believe in marriage or have successful marriages.

The charts below illustrate this point:



On average, a little over 3 million children in the US receive welfare benefits, known as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) or State Supplemental Program (SSP), each month during the fiscal year. A recent report from Pew Research indicated 18 percent of American adults have received assistance from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), or “food stamps,” at some point in their lives, and Democrats were twice as likely as Republicans to have used food stamps. Women were about twice as likely as men, and black people were twice as likely as white people to have received food stamps.

People over 65 years old were the least likely age group to say they had received food stamps, while people with less education – a high school diploma or lower – were three times more likely than college graduates to have received those benefits. Women who marry or maintain a home with the biological father of their children can face the reduction or loss of their benefits, according to the US Department of Health and Human Services:

“Our main finding is that if a male has financial resources, TANF provides the greatest disincentive to form and/or maintain a biological family, and the least disincentive, if not an incentive, to form an unrelated cohabitor family. In a biological family, where the male is the father of all the children, he must be included in the unit and his resources counted. In an unrelated cohabitor family, where he is father of none of the children, he is not included and his resources are not counted. In addition, most states disregard unrelated cohabitor vendor and cash payments to the TANF recipient and her children.”

GoFundMe.com/StandupforZoraya

In other words, the current structure of TANF actually promotes having nearly any man but the biological father heading the house. Women are also about six times likelier to get sole custody of their children after separating from their fathers. In some cases, men even go to jail for falling behind on child support payments. In South Carolina, for example, about one out of seven inmates are imprisoned for this very reason, and 75 percent of them were unemployed or having trouble finding work. How sending them to jail will help them, their families, or taxpayers is a mystery. And. again, for children with fathers, dads are missing out on crucial bonding time. Children who had frequent and positive interactions with their fathers, such as the father paying attention to the child’s interests, offering encouragement and smiling, during the first year of their lives were calmer and better behaved than other children at age two. This was especially true for boys. Involved dads also reduce the chances of their infants experiencing cognitive delays, and fathers themselves feel more confident about their job skills, parenting skills and social relationships. The US is an oddity among Western nations in not granting statutory paid maternity or paternity leave or providing childcare at a reasonable cost. This creates a situation where women are forced to choose between work and family (to “lean in” or “lean out”), while men have no option but to “lean in” or just opt out altogether.


These trends paint a very disconnected picture, but that can change. The government can step up by commissioning a White House Council on Boys and Men. There is currently a White House Council on Girls and Women, but they have yet to support a similar platform for men, even though it has been proposed and endorsed by a number of experts. Creating policies that support a father’s right to be present in his children’s lives during divorce and custody battle situations, eliminating perverse welfare incentives for parents to live apart, offering men paternity leave equal to maternity leave, providing childcare for both mothers and fathers and encouraging family members to visit inmates would also be steps in the right direction. Sponsoring a nationwide male mentorship program to bring more positive male figures into children’s lives would also help reverse these trends.

  By Nikita Coulombe on FAMILY COMES FIRST

Source: The US Is Leading The Way In Fatherlessness And It's Hurting Our Kids

Shared Parenting Train - 2015

Voy a luchar por mis padres - 2015



 






Published on Jul 16, 2015
Carey Casey, author and CEO of the National Center for Fathering and father of four, shares some insight on custody battles that may be difficult to hear on Today's Father.
Visit http://www.fathers.com for ideas, advice and inspiration for being the best dad you can be to your children.

DOJ: Children Do Not Need—and Have No Right to--Mothers

In effect, the adminitration is arguing that California had already conceded the administration’s point that children do not need a mother or a father when it enacted laws treating same-sex couples the same as married couples in its adoption, foster-parenting and other laws--which Proposition 8 did not seek to overturn.



So far in the history of the human race, no child has ever been born without a biological father and mother. Now, in the Supreme Court of the United States, the Executive Branch of the federal government is arguing that, regardless of the biological facts of parenthood, states have no legitimate and defensible interest in ensuring that children conceived by a mother and a father are in fact raised by mothers and fathers.

The brief that the Justice Department presented to the Supreme Court discussed children only as items controlled by others, not as individual human beings who have God-given rights of their own. It simply assumes that a child has no inherent right to a mother or father and that the only right truly in question is whether two people of the same-sex have a right to marry one another and that that right encompasses a right to adopt and foster-raise children.
To take this view and be consistent with the principles of the Declaration of Independence—which recognizes the ultimate authority of the “Laws of Nature and Nature’s God” and says that “all men are created equal” and “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights”—the Obama Justice Department must advance the assumption that natural law and Nature’s God give children no right to a mother and father and no right not to be legally handed over by the government to be raised by same-sex couples.   

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"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." (Tecumseh).

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Posted by American Fathers Liberation Army on Tuesday, August 18, 2015

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